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           Relationships 

Relationships are important to all of us. We make meaning of our lives through our interactions with other people. We may not realize it, but how we see ourselves and how we come to understand ourselves is through our relationships with other people. All activities relate to, or involve, or are centered around people. Even if we prefer to do them in solitude, we may be thinking about how we will feel having accomplished the activity related to another person. Even items we purchase relate to pleasing, entertaining, getting attention from, bringing back good memories involving other people, and taking care of other people. Our house, car, clothes, career, vacations, hobbies and sports are ultimately about a relationship we have or want to have with other people. The people we choose to share our experiences with, especially our successes and our failures are the ones who are special to us. The quality of these interactions are measured by how much we trust, how well we know, how comfortable we are, or how close those people are to us.

 

These people are the ones we say "we love"- our friends, our life partners, our children, our family.  These relationships make life worth living. People are really all that matter to our brain health and our continued ability to reach our potential.   

Navigating Through Relationship Roles 

A counselor can help you avoid some common traps and pitfalls in arguments, answer the question of why it it feels so hard to apologize, even to the ones you love, why it feels so threatening when we are accused of being wrong in an argument, why a misaligned state of energy in communication can create a distance in a relationship.

 

Whether its individual or couples counseling, it helps to talk, connect, process the feeling and problem solve. 

Each of us is involved in a variety of different types of relationships with other people. Within each relationship we take on a slightly different role, even if we are unaware of it. This means according to the expectations and responsibilties we put on ourselves and the other person has of us, we start to establish a set of behaviors that become consistent with that individual or group over time.  

 

We may be in a parent role one minute, then spouse role, then employee, then supervisor, then friend, then daughter or son, then sibling. Each time we begin to interact with that person, depending on the role we are in, that will determine our behavior, tone of voice, thoughts, feelings, emotions, intentions, goals, one might even say our personality.  Keeping all these behaviors, thoughts, and feelings aligned while still trying to be true to ourselves and meet our own goals and needs can be challenging and stressfull!

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